Epiphany

There once was a carnation instant breakfast packet. The carnation instant breakfast packet was sad because his Yosemite Sam slippers couldn't sing. He had purchased them with that intention, and now, disappointment had set in. His great epiphany came while he was sitting on the toilet contemplating breakfast. He thought, "Wait, no purchase can truly make me happy anyway." He lived happier after that, even if he still suffered from the occasional Snicker bar impulse buy at checkout.