Hey friends. This post is just a journal entry of a thingy-thang. Anyway, I got up and did standup for the second day in a row.
My dream has been to do standup. Since I was like, 8. What is weird is I've not dreamed about being rich or famous from it, I just want to make people laugh. It's really all I want to do all the time.
I'm not very good at it currently. But I feel like I CAN be good. I feel like I have the potential. You know how Robin's super power was potential? I feel like that. You know Robin, Batman's friend? Yeah. I don't know who the Batman is to my Robin, but if I could pick, it'd be Ray Charles. Oh...he's dead? Ok. I'm sticking with Ray Charles. I'd probably get to drive the Batmobile, then.
Anyway, it was great getting up on stage. Here is the thing that I felt most strongly RIGHT when I had that rush of fear beforehand: "If I COMPLETELY bomb...if I completely suck, if I do my absolute worst job possible, if I hear crickets and I get rickets, it will STILL be better than all those times I didn't try."
Tonight I when I got off stage, I realized I wasn't afraid while on stage. I also have this regretful feeling that my fear, as hairy as it looks on the outside, is kind of a little bitch when you plow through it. Having been paralyzed by that fear for so long, to not attempt this huge dream I've had for so long, made me regret having that fear...it made me regret being intimidated by that fear. Now where did I put my "No Fear" t-shirt from 8th grade?
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you have this thingy-thang you really want to do, just go and do it. Don't let something as dumb as fear get in your dumb little way.
I've typed this after two open mics. I'm currently nothing compared to the comics I saw tonight, but I honestly don't give a shit. I tried to do the thing I've always wanted to do (since I was 8!!). Felt pretty damn good being the worst guy out there tonight, because I was better than all those who wimped out.
My dream has been to do standup. Since I was like, 8. What is weird is I've not dreamed about being rich or famous from it, I just want to make people laugh. It's really all I want to do all the time.
I'm not very good at it currently. But I feel like I CAN be good. I feel like I have the potential. You know how Robin's super power was potential? I feel like that. You know Robin, Batman's friend? Yeah. I don't know who the Batman is to my Robin, but if I could pick, it'd be Ray Charles. Oh...he's dead? Ok. I'm sticking with Ray Charles. I'd probably get to drive the Batmobile, then.
Anyway, it was great getting up on stage. Here is the thing that I felt most strongly RIGHT when I had that rush of fear beforehand: "If I COMPLETELY bomb...if I completely suck, if I do my absolute worst job possible, if I hear crickets and I get rickets, it will STILL be better than all those times I didn't try."
Tonight I when I got off stage, I realized I wasn't afraid while on stage. I also have this regretful feeling that my fear, as hairy as it looks on the outside, is kind of a little bitch when you plow through it. Having been paralyzed by that fear for so long, to not attempt this huge dream I've had for so long, made me regret having that fear...it made me regret being intimidated by that fear. Now where did I put my "No Fear" t-shirt from 8th grade?
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you have this thingy-thang you really want to do, just go and do it. Don't let something as dumb as fear get in your dumb little way.
I've typed this after two open mics. I'm currently nothing compared to the comics I saw tonight, but I honestly don't give a shit. I tried to do the thing I've always wanted to do (since I was 8!!). Felt pretty damn good being the worst guy out there tonight, because I was better than all those who wimped out.
Nick, you did better because you did it. You will get it together and one night you will kill and walk off the stage knowing you killed and it will be the greatest feeling since the grinches heart swelled three times.
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