I've seen a lot of three legged dogs in my life. I've also seen a couple cats who had three legs. But a parakeet with three legs, well, that's somewhat of a miracle. That bird, was called Digby. Digby had three legs, and I can tell you this: she can jump higher than all other parakeets. Seriously. She was an astounding leaper. She had a 12-inch vertical, which is impressive if most other birds are doing four to five inch verticals.
Now what good was it to have a great vertical when you could fly? Digby would often answer that question with, "Clearly, you're not a bird." What Digby meant by that is there were many times when a bird simply has to rest her wings, and hopping was the next best thing. Not to mention the weekly game of basketball at the Y, where flying was not permitted, along with pecking, and pooping on the court.
Digby though, had a dark side. Like literally, one side of her was light blue feathers and the other side was dark brown. It didn't exactly scream, "Take me to the prom!!" To go along with the third leg, it was no surprise that Digby took more than her fair share of shit.
Digby had another dark side, and that was she kept tabs on everyone who ever gave her shit. Obviously, she had never heard that whole "forgiveness is divine" nonsense. I blame her parents. So that Tuesday, which was always the worst of days, Digby had a record 35 people give her shit. The new fad was to call her "pogo-dick," because of her ability to leap and the whole third leg thing. But, she was a girl! That didn't even make any sense!
Thirty five people! Their names were as follows: Julie, Bob, Roberta, Thomas, Mohammad, Tisha, Don, Kristen, Mickey, Cheryl, Zack, Greg, Greg, Ashish, Anthony, Monica, Amanda, LaRinda, Michael, Jameel, Allison, Summer, Autumn, Maria, Yasmin Bleeth, Jose, Hose B, Ronald, Jim, Sarenavas, Henry, Sarah, Jessica, Parker, and Sheela. Dibgy went to a diverse school. But, they all came together beautifully, to make fun of Digby.
Luckily for Digby, she knew about the pigs blood they had hidden in a bucket above the stage on prom night. She also had taught herself telekinesis in her spare time by watching YouTube.
It came time to elect prom queen, and she had known all along that it was rigged. It was rigged in her favor, so she gracefully hopped up to the podium to select her award. Using telekinesis, she stopped the blood from falling on her head, and directed at Steven, the kid with the jacked-up teeth and the Superman cummerbun.
Oh boy did everyone hoot and holler and laugh at the ugly parakeet as he struggled. Digby kicked Steven in the ass with her extra leg, spilling him to the ground soaking in pigs blood and parakeet tears. The laughter went from a 7 to a 10. "Glad I'm not that loser," proclaimed Digby.
She became the most popular girl in school, and everyone loved her.
Now what good was it to have a great vertical when you could fly? Digby would often answer that question with, "Clearly, you're not a bird." What Digby meant by that is there were many times when a bird simply has to rest her wings, and hopping was the next best thing. Not to mention the weekly game of basketball at the Y, where flying was not permitted, along with pecking, and pooping on the court.
Digby though, had a dark side. Like literally, one side of her was light blue feathers and the other side was dark brown. It didn't exactly scream, "Take me to the prom!!" To go along with the third leg, it was no surprise that Digby took more than her fair share of shit.
Digby had another dark side, and that was she kept tabs on everyone who ever gave her shit. Obviously, she had never heard that whole "forgiveness is divine" nonsense. I blame her parents. So that Tuesday, which was always the worst of days, Digby had a record 35 people give her shit. The new fad was to call her "pogo-dick," because of her ability to leap and the whole third leg thing. But, she was a girl! That didn't even make any sense!
Thirty five people! Their names were as follows: Julie, Bob, Roberta, Thomas, Mohammad, Tisha, Don, Kristen, Mickey, Cheryl, Zack, Greg, Greg, Ashish, Anthony, Monica, Amanda, LaRinda, Michael, Jameel, Allison, Summer, Autumn, Maria, Yasmin Bleeth, Jose, Hose B, Ronald, Jim, Sarenavas, Henry, Sarah, Jessica, Parker, and Sheela. Dibgy went to a diverse school. But, they all came together beautifully, to make fun of Digby.
Luckily for Digby, she knew about the pigs blood they had hidden in a bucket above the stage on prom night. She also had taught herself telekinesis in her spare time by watching YouTube.
It came time to elect prom queen, and she had known all along that it was rigged. It was rigged in her favor, so she gracefully hopped up to the podium to select her award. Using telekinesis, she stopped the blood from falling on her head, and directed at Steven, the kid with the jacked-up teeth and the Superman cummerbun.
Oh boy did everyone hoot and holler and laugh at the ugly parakeet as he struggled. Digby kicked Steven in the ass with her extra leg, spilling him to the ground soaking in pigs blood and parakeet tears. The laughter went from a 7 to a 10. "Glad I'm not that loser," proclaimed Digby.
She became the most popular girl in school, and everyone loved her.
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